Friday, 20 February 2009

Autumn in Central Park, New York - Tales from America

Shit, something has shifted deep within me. I am lying in a rickety bed in a hostel next to Central Park and I feel fidgety and high. Its so stupid, I keep telling myself its a trick of the mind and I'm just delusional but actually I think my mindset has changed. Before going downstairs for a coffee I have to cleanse my thoughts. I walk down by central Park stepping on all the subway grates as I walk down the street, trying to keep my nerve as I imagine each one collapsing in on itself and my legs being pulled down into the murky caverns below, closely followed by the rest of me.

The passing of trains is intermittant and signalled by a gathering roar crescendoing to thunder as these silver beasts of the underground carry their passengers ever deeper to the spiralling suburbs. New York is kind of weird, its all very logically set out in its grid network but at the same time one feels on the edge of some kind of crazy neuroticism. I'm not sure whether that is just within me or whether the city imbues this mindset on me. I think I have become an extension of the city. The background noise of taxis, cars, people talking into their mobiles, all of this has become part of me.

London can be like this too but we're not quite so outlandish or expressive. We don't express our anger like New Yorkers do. I think somehow New Yorkers are healthier in their attitude than us Londoners.




Its funny I feel like I'm getting a cold and I reckon its because I went running in DC on Monday morning and it was freezing! Oh my god there is a huge clattering going on outside my dorm, sounded like someone fell down the stairs..I think it was someone pulling a suitcase down. Anyway I think having a cold reminds you that you're alive, you suffer a little and therefore when you do go out somewhere or make it to work you feel a sense of achievement. I feel so free and content right now. I think I was getting boxed-in back in London.

England is such a small space - a tiny island filled to bursting with people. I often think it would be a good idea to force some of us Southerners to go up to Scotland and live in the Highlands. Its so beautiful up there. America is huge, everything here is expanded outwards and your sense of perspective widens as you explore the country, wide roads, wide cars, wide people...

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